Ugly and Forbidden Love
by ShikabaneHime56
Summary: Tyki loves Lavi. This love is slowly driving him over the edge. will he end it all just to get away? How will Lavi react to all this? kinda angst and character death :  Song fanfic for Hide by RED!


_**Hello people of this world and the next, its ShikabaneHime here with my first ever song fanfic. YEAH FOR ME! I was inspired by the song Hide by RED. one of my fav songs. LISTEN to it! Anyway, i thought the song would be perfect for some Lavi and Tyki action so this was born from my brain! kind of angst with character death :) hope you enjoy ma creation!**_

_Disclaimer: i was kind confused if we really have to put this but ill just do it anyway.I, in all my awesomeness, do not own -Man and never will! which Sucks!  
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><p><em>Waste away<br>I'm crawling blind  
>Hollowed by what I left inside<em>

I just couldn't take it anymore. Watching you love people, people who weren't me, was slowly killing me from the inside out. I was practically wasting away. But fear had stopped me from telling you how I feel and now I was paying the price for it. We were on opposite sides of the war. You are an exorcist and I am a Noah. There was no way this love could work. I left the secret of my love inside my heart. The truth of the matter was slowly hollowing me. I couldn't see the hatred that had always governed the way I saw things. This impractical love was blinding me from my original mission of killing the exorcist.

_For you, just you  
>I'm caught in place<br>But I ignore what I can't erase_

I couldn't move on. I was held in place by my thoughts of you. I could barely ignore my feelings either. Watching you on the battle field, fighting me with what I read as hatred in your eyes, hurt me. The feeling of love and resentment I felt towards you. I couldn't erase it no matter what I did. It affected me in battle; I couldn't bring up a hand to strike you down like before. I could see you coming towards me with your weapons raise, ready to kill me, but I couldn't move. I was caught in place for you. I hated this feeling of love, the dread of ever falling in love.

_I will run and hide till memories fade away  
>And I will leave behind a love so strong<em>

I tried to avoid this, hoping that these feelings and memories would fade away soon enough. I would try to run away and hide from them but it didn't work. My love was strong but I had to leave it behind. For my sanity I had to try and leave behind this love. The love I felt for you was slowly driving me insane and killing me. But I am convinced you would never know. That you would never feel the way I do.

_Close my eyes theses voices say  
>haunting me, I can't escape<br>_

I tried to close my eyes and pretend to not see you but I just couldn't ignore it. I just couldn't ignore the feeling of wanting you to stare at me like you do with your friend. I wanted to feel your trust and love directed towards me but I knew I could never earn it. It was haunting me every waking moment. No matter what I did I just couldn't escape it. Why? Why couldn't I escape? Why did you have to hold so much power over my head? Maybe it would help if I just killed you. Maybe then the voices in my head would stop haunting me.

_For you, just you  
>Time will always wait<br>While I throw away what I can't replace_

I wish I could have thrown away the feeling of love I had replaced with the hatred I was supposed to feel for you. I wish I could just stop time and be with you for just a minute. Maybe then these stupid feelings would go away. Maybe then I could finally start to hate you again. this love was ugly and forbidden so why couldn't i give it up? When did my life become so thrown into disarray?

_I will run and hide till memories fade away  
>And I will leave behind a love so strong<br>_

As you came near me, ready to kill, I finally decided to just give up. The only escape was death. The voices would finally stop haunting me. It was the only way I could leave behind my love in this world_. _In death was the way I could run away. The memories and feelings would finally fade away. You brought your hammer point down on my neck but I didn't move. Confusion was visible in your eyes. Confusion as to why I didn't make a move to kill you.

_I will run and hide till memories fade away  
>And I will leave behind a love so strong<br>_

"Lavi" I could hear myself mutter, my voice raw from the various emotions raging through me. "I love you…. Please hurry up and kill me" I said in almost a whisper. I know you heard for your eyes widened and your mouth opened to gap. This is it. You were going kill me in anger. But to my surprise you didn't. Your eyes searched mine for the truth in my word. Finally finding the answer my eyes you raised your weapon point off of me. Tears began to weld up in your beautiful green eye, and you pulled me into a startling hug. "Why are you crying Usagi-kun?" I murmured in your ear, unsure of what was going on I could feel your sobs soaking my shirt but I didn't mind." I-I-I love you too" you murmured against my chest as your sobs became louder. _  
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_I will run and hide!  
>And I will leave behind!<br>_

"I am so happy you feel that way but can you please kill me" at this your eyes widen. "Why do you want me to kill you?" you asked me in disbelief. I chuckled darkly. "Lavi, I love you but this love is slowly killing me. It's slowly driving me mad, because I know it could never work, you and me are enemies above all else, so please just kill me" I said in earnest "for me, please?" Looking at me with sadness you murmured "Are you sure this is what you want?" I could see the hope in your eyes. You wanted my answer to be no but I had to leave this world behind.

_I will run and hide till memories fade away  
>And I will leave behind a love so strong!<em>

"I am so sorry Lavi" I said as I gently caressed your soft cheek. "But I just can't live like this. This is the only way I can deal with the fact that we can never be together. I can't deal with fighting you as I should. This is what I want. At least I can leave behind a love so strong." With this said I gave into my desire and pulled you closer to me. Your eyes widened as I suddenly yanked you down, covering your lips with my own in a hungry kiss. My love welled up as we shared the kiss. I tentatively licked your bottom lip asking for entrance. You responded quickly and opened your mouth allowing my tongue to slip in and roam the wet caverns. The feeling was amazing. You moaned into the kiss which sent me into frenzy. Soon, the need for air made us break apart. You started to cry at this and nodded your head in understanding. "I will do what you want" with that you raised your weapon, aiming it at my throat. "Goodbye" you said with tears streaming down your beautiful face. 'What a bittersweet ending' I thought as the weapon came down upon me.

_I hate that I love you so_

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><p><strong><em>So...? What do u guys think? please critic! it would make me <span>ULTRA UBER HAPPY <span> to hear what u think. thanx for reading!  
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